I am 36 years old. I am separated from my wife; and by extension my children for the majority of the time.
Only one life form on the planet actually depends on me to live; my dog. And I could easily be replaced by an automatic waterer and feeder or any other person in the world.
My wife apparently could care less what happens to me. She left for an entire month without any form of communication. Allowed me no contact with my children during that time, and had her parents lie to me. So, it seems it would be okay with her and her family if I just was no more. Probably even preferred.
My daughter is only one. Still at the height of “out of sight out of mind.”
My son is four. He hits me a lot and throws tantrums and the like. I know he loves me, he says it often. He also makes the distinction of saying he likes me as well. It’s sad that a four year old could understand the phrase “I love you but I don’t like you.” I think he’d miss me for a while. But really, it’s probably not likely that it would last for very long.
My mom, sister, brother-in-law, and other family members would feel sad if I died tomorrow. But really, their lives wouldn’t change much at all. They’d just have one less guest at family get-togethers and the like. And one less person to worry about in the long run.
I don’t really have any friends of my own anymore. They either drifted away over the last 13 years or they decided to leave with my wife. I have one actual friend. We see each other once or twice a year. Yeah, that’d be a big change for him.
My church has basically dis-owned me. I guess they left with my wife as well.
This is rock bottom. This is what it feels like to be living a pointless life.
A few people to be sad if you died. More people who may have cared at one time but who might take slight notice but are more likely to just not care at all.
And a dog. Who really only cares about food, water, and being let out a few times a day.